megs creatives

after a hard day yesterday (it really could have been worse but sucked, nonetheless and sent me over the edge) you would understand why i am so incredibly grateful for t o d a y.

there is something truly beautiful about being able to go to sleep, waking up to a brand new 24 hours that lay within your palms each and every day.

no matter how hard the day(s) before it may have been, you can wake up and start anew.

i have really been struggling mentally and physically the past several weeks (as I also know others who are as well and my heart seriously aches and goes out to them. you know who you are).

physically – because when i don’t exercise my body tenses up and causes flare ups in my fibromyalgia.

mentally – trying to hold it together for myself and everyone around me (because holidays are supposed to be cheerful and fun, right?) but i could feel the very overwhelmed and overstimulated little girl within, having complete melt downs as i continued to neglect her throughout the holidays and afterwards.

all during a time she really needed nurturing, as holidays were not
a l w a y s pleasant growing up.

don’t get me wrong. in this beautiful life i currently live, the holidays bring precious, priceless moments and memories spent with friends and family that i would not change for a n y t h i n g.

those moments fill up my heart (and my family’s) and we are always surrounded by so much love.

my struggle is that i am still learning to have boundaries. for myself, my internal energy and how to mindfully choose the best moments to extend it. all while trying to keep a little for myself so i still have some light to shine.

it is a challenge trying to give myself the time of day when there are other hearts that need me. feeling the desperate need to give them myself completely through the -one- heart i have as a

wife
niece
sister
mother
daughter
and friend.

finding myself in a pit when i cannot give them my all.

it becomes a lot for this very empathetic feeling introvert that needs time alone (daily) to recharge and feel herself again. burnout comes slamming into my body like a freight train and once it hits, i feel mentally and physically incapable of mostly everything.

i d e s p e r a t e l y (as often as possible) need time to be in a place where i can feel no one else but —->me.

it is (unfortunately) the time i feel my best and truest self. i feel this most when i am walking the earth, alone. there is a strong peace and solitude that circulates throughout my entire body when i have that freedom.

the freedom to roam, to wander, to get lost but always find my way back. to stop, breathe it all in and begin again. taking each step mindfully, knowing in that moment, i am where i am meant to be.

with each breath, i breathe in the trees, the dirt, the water, life. this freedom is bliss and it is what empowers me to keep living.

what a gift to know that even if you feel stuck in the low of bad day after bad day, you can and will see the light again.